don't be a farrah.

If any of you thought that I've run out of things that guys do that bother me, think again. There's a cureless disease called sweetbro-itis goin around lately, so I'll continue blogging until someone spikes all the whey protein in America with some type of poison, killing all the sweetbros in the country. It's obvious to anybody who hasn't been in a tanning salon today that sweetbro's are idiots, the sad thing is, that girls are wayyyyy more stupid than sweetbro's, because there are some of us that actually DATE THEM. You would think that in a perfect world the sweetbro species would become extinct, quite the contrary, they're expanding because girls allow sweetbros to MATE with them. Case in point: Farrah from MTV's 16 and pregnant

Oh, farrah, showing your black bra that's holding up your lactating breasts is almost as cute as you pretending to be surprised when that african american college football player dumped you after you brought your baby to his game.

We're creating a new generation of SS's (super sweetbros). The reproduction of sweetbros and sweetho's is something i simply can't live to see. so I'm gonna just keep on tellin you why you're better off mating with a sketchers man (see previous shoe post).

It's apparent by looking at peopleofwalmart.com, George W. Bush, and the success of Old Navy's 4th of July American Flag t-shirts that god has blessed america. (haha). Seriously though, the lord thought of me for a second when he let Prada produce men's sunglasses in the color: WHITE. Yeah i believe the good lord has given me Men's white sunglasses to alert me to the presence of a sweetbro. I'm literally THRILLED to show you this photo.

I don't know what the best part is, either that he's flexing or that i typed "douchebag white sunglasses" into google images to have this pop up.
bravo, sweetbro, bravo, you have officially become the face of this post. I want to find this man, and give him this for Christmas

I find it sad and ridiculous that I find myself wondering if i should post reasons why white sunglasses are idiotic, but i guess i will, in case you're new to sweetbro-hating.
1. Huge white sunglasses are made for WOMEN, so if a guy finds that they look attractive on him, it's probably because there are cute little rhinestones on the sides of them that match the rhinestones on his freakin affliction t shirt.
2. Men that wear white sunglasses choose white because it makes their faces look more tan.
3. Men that wear white sunglasses wear them more in nightclubs and bars than they actually do in broad daylight
4.where are White sunglasses always stored? nope, not in a case like you thought, but behind a sweetbro's head.

DEAR DOUCHEBAG,
DO YOU THINK THIS IS ATTRACTIVE?!

if you see a man wearing these, just don't even try, he loves his manhood more than he'll ever love you, plus you're never gonna be able to climb all the way up into his lifted truck without help, and even if you do find your way into his truck, i'm sure he'll convince you into the back seat, and nine months later you'll be featured on MTV's 16 and pregnant JUST LIKE FARRAH. so just...run, or refer him to me so i can have some entertainment.