Creepin on the low low.

Guys i have to tell you what just happened.
Men, sometimes you are not so smooth.
I just got hit on... and it was a motherflippin train wreck.

There's always this guy that passes by my office,
he's average looking, somewhere between 22-25.
today i hear the door open and he walks in holding one of the flyers that have my name and office number on it,
he says "hhhhhhey i'm loooooooooking for some oooooooofice spppppppace"
the reason this is typed so prolonged, is not because he talked slow, it is because this man had a stutter. a terrible stutter. in fact, it's the second to worst stutter I've ever heard in my life. This is terrible for him, especially because it added to his creepiness.
"so so so so so I always see you you you in here and you're you're you're always alone"

SIRENS are going off in my head. Am i about to be raped? i literally glanced at both the exits.

"you look awful lonely in here, so when are you alone in here?"
not only will i be locking all doors after he leaves, I'll be brushing up on my self defense skills.
I give him a tour of the offices, which he was not interested in because the office space thing was obviously a lie.

"man you're you're you're really really really really really really really really really really Beautiful".
that is literally the number of times he said really. i counted. Now did he really think i was that beautiful or was that his stutter? either way its not okay.
"like, you have to be a model or something"

seriously?
this is what you decided to go with?
number 1. i know i don't look like a model.
number 2. I'm 5"1, seriously do you really think i'm a model?

as we're walking I happen to notice that he cutoff sweat pants on.
Did you know cutoff sweat pants don't really....hide certain areas of a male's body.
especially when that certain body part becomes...erect..?
yes, this is real, and I'm more nauseated that you are.
This is NOT okay, i need to get him away from me.

So then he's like "what are you you you going to school for? MODELING?!"
me "no"
creep "well you should because you're just so so so beautiful, do you wanna grab a bite to eat later tonight?"

what part of our interaction made you feel that not only was it going well, but that you should ask me to go on a date. From what I've seen (and I've already seen far too much) I do not want to be in a vehicle with you, or in this office space with you for that matter.

So i had him write his number on my business card.
I feel ill.
i joke about dry heaving a lot.
but it really happened this time.
creep.