3 weeks to a breakdown

The past 3 weeks of my life have been pretty crazy.


I've suddenly found myself knee-deep in a career I never imagined I'd have anytime within a year after graduating. I found myself allowing work to take over my life in ways that I didn't like. Suddenly I was that girl in her mid-twenties choosing a job that stressed her out and made her crazy over her social life. WOOF.

I also found myself relying on my faith to light the path.

Often times we can see a bit of ourselves in Peter, an ordinary working man who became one of the most famous apostles. The first time Jesus met Peter, he asked him to ditch his boat and follow and Peter did.

Sometimes Jesus asks us to 'ditch the boat' & follow. It is terrifying to think to trust in a new path that isn't comfortable- or anything different than the one we have come to grow in and memorize along our daily rituals.

It never gets easier to let go of what little control we like to believe we have over our daily lives. I'm 22, I'm independent, I'm graduated, I pay my own bills, and while I take spontaneous crazy adventures by myself in NYC- I hate that I have a hard time admitting to myself that I need to give up control & ditch 'my boat.' I wish that it were easier for me to stop trying to force pieces into place to pursue my next personal goal. Letting go tends to give us a free-fall feeling

The truth is if we keep fighting and pushing for the independence to forge our own path- we move further away from the path that God has prepared for us.

But like, my boat is so nicely packed- and what if God's plan doesn't include a fulfilling career, a husband, and some babies, and a packed kitchen every Sunday.

But while he followed without asking questions- like us, Peter wasn't perfect. If you remember he denied knowing Jesus 3 times over.

Peter wasn't perfect, yet God's plans were still fulfilled for him- all he needed was strong faith in God's promise of a plan.

So today I am working on being more like Peter- and listening when God calls upon me to 'ditch' my boat to follow- and by casting my anxiety on Him & focusing on the promise of the plan for me I hope to work towards using myself as a tool to do better 'work'. Better work in love, better work in aiding others, better work at work, and better work in faith.