fish head.

My parents are nuts. and now that I've been out of the house for 2 years, when i come home i realize the hilarious shtuff they do.

My dad loves to fish. My mom likes to joke that he cheats on her with the lake. It's not funny, it's true.

look how great he is. haha
My dad has somehow come to believe that fish cure any ailment, and are the greatest animal in the world.
example:


Senior year, I was signed up to take the ACT, when i woke up that morning, at my place at the table was a plate stacked with smoked fish that he forced me to eat for breakfast because "fish is brain food and you'll do amazing on the act (which he said as the full word, act) if you eat it for breakfast."

--i scored a 24, three points lower than when i took it the first time.

There's a few things I know everyone in the world is terrified of. One of these is the garage at night, i don't know what it is, but my dad has somehow rearranged everything in the garage to look like a terrifying man after dark. I HATE going into my garage at night, and when i do, i do the tiptoe run because you know something from the abyss is gonna grab your foot and suck you in...i hate the garage at night.

so i'm gettin in the hot tub the other night, and i'm running through the garage when i come face to face with these:

that's right, two DRIED fish heads.
At this point i'm just really .... confused, and let's be honest i'm worried.
Is my dad saving these for some crazy type of voodoo?
and if not, WHY??? why is that necessary?!
i will never understand why I'm living in the redneck capital of utah right now.
it's getting worse too,
tonight at dinner my mom says
"i don't get any way for a guy to wear his hair long and have it look good unless they wear it in a MULLET."
....game over.