Marriage & John Wooden

For the past few years there's been one subject that always hits my gag reflex in just the right spot, the talk of this particular awful thing gives me hives, & sometimes makes me hyperventilate. this awful, painful topic, is:
MARRIAGE
f'real. right now the thought of marriage is downright filthy.
Up until this point in my life I've considered possible marriage prospects based on breeding purposes. In order to have wonderful little children I pretty much just consider the gene pool of my future spouse. this is not a joke.

I'm sure the first 1-2 years of marriage are great, when washing his dirty underwear is okay because you still LOVE him so much, nothing about him could bother you, and he still pretends to like your cooking and pretends to think you look cute in sweats. But it doesn't last long. this is what i imagine happens after the 2nd anniversary:


and then you start letting yourselves go, because you don't care anymore, and then you have kids, just because it's "time", and then your sex life goes right out the window because you're both too tired all the time, then you start arguing about paper towels and who will give the kids a bath that night. I doubt i can even find someone that doesn't make me wanna thrust a sharp object in my neck after a month.
ONE. PERSON. FOREVER.
see?
marriage will suck.

this is the reality of it.
or so i thought...up until today.

If you haven't caught on, I'm not one to believe that the fantasy romance exists in real life, but alas, i've had an epiphany. just watch. it's worth it.