1. that I was switched at birth, and one day my real family would come and switch me with the REAL Caitlin Anderson (This is a direct cause of watching Lifetime movies).
2. the beast doll from my Beauty and the Beast Barbie set.
3. Earthquakes.
My fear of Earthquakes stemmed from my father tirelessly trying my whole life to prepare me for the apocalypse.
I have an "emergency" kit in my trunk, i use the term emergency very loosely, because the supplies in this kit don't include things like jumper cables (which i would think would classify as an emergency tool) it includes survival necessities like food, water, a coat, snow boots, duct tape, paper towels, toilet paper, and enough feminine hygiene products to last the rest of my life. Judging by the contents of my emergency kit, my dad thinks an "emergency" is an apocalyptic blizzard, which will bury me for days, during the worst "time of the month" I've ever had.
age 10.
Being the prepared man he always is, my father thought about what would happen if a giant earthquake struck and our house happened to be at the epicenter, and all forms of technology were destroyed, and he died.
He takes me out into the backyard, walks me around the house and shows me how to turn off the gas line.
then we walk over to a small pile of grass and dry leaves, where he kneels down and hits 2 rocks together. he then looks at me and says
"if there's a giant earthquake, and I die, this is how you make a fire to survive"
then he says "don't come inside until you start a fire"
Number 1. This is the first time my father has presented to me the fact that he is mortal, and could die.
Number 2. I'm 10, so my imagination is pretty vivid.
All of a sudden I'm transported into a world where God chose me to be a survivor of the biggest earthquake the world has ever seen. My father is dead, and despite the fact that I'm devastated by his death, I have to focus, because I'm left to keep my mom and brother alive, and the only way to do this is to make FIRE
it's not working, the rocks aren't creating enough spark to get a fire going, and the little bit of smoke i do create, i end up blowing out in an attempt to spread the tiny flame. I get frustrated, knowing that if i don't get this fire started my family will DIE.
I don't know how long i was out there trying to create a fire, but I was undoubtedly going to fail. This concerned me, for the following reason: Failure meant that my whole family would die, and I'd be left alone to fend for myself in the unforgiving post-apocalyptic earthquake world with nobody to take care of me. I was 10. This thought was upsetting. Up until that point in my life, the world was made up of rainbows and superheros and fluffy things. The most destruction I had witnessed was on an episode of power rangers, and I was entirely too focused on how hot Tommy (the white ranger) was and how badly i wanted to be Kimberly (pink ranger) to know what was happening in the story line, and even if the world was going to end, it was solved in a matter of 30 minutes.
Reality hit me like a brick to the face.
Within the next 24 hours an earthquake would undoubtedly kill my family, leaving me alone.
I went inside, giving up on the fire, and accepting my fate.
To this day, whenever i hear the emergency test sound on the radio, i have a tiny panic attack because i know, that 10 years later, that apocalyptic earthquake my dad told me about is coming and I will die a long, drawn out death, because i cannot start a fire with grass, dead leaves, and two rocks.
I am not an apocalyptic survivor.
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