before my surgery I used to think it was funny to say "I'm gonna puke blood" whenever i was exaggerating about a situation i didn't like...
Dear God, I promise i will NEVER take the phrase "puking blood" lightly ever again if you make it stop.
I woke up from anesthesia...soaking wet in my own pee. Awesome! at this point i am a helpless human. i can barely hold my head up, and sometime in the past 30 minutes of surgery i pissed all over myself. I fully understand how pathetic this is. to make matters worse as soon as i open my eyes the idiot nurse is trying to talk to me about school...and she won't stop repeating questions until i answered. I'm not a violent human, but i almost chucked my medical chart at her head...then 10 minutes after talking to me and forcing me to respond she's all "ohhh wait, you probably shouldn't be talking"...NO SHI*.
my tongue is the size of a cow's. seriously. my uvula (the dangily thing) is bigger than a quarter. my whole throat is completely raw from the dr. burning my tonsils out of my body.
suddenly i am so nauseous i cannot even breathe. I'm still not fully there from anesthesia but i know damn well that puking would be just about the most painful thing i could do right now. doesn't matter. puked anyways.
oh wait, puked blood. a lot.
while sittin in my pee pants.
this is not okay.
and now i'm home waiting for lortab to kick in so i can be in another world.
Seriously. SOS wit me.
No comments:
Post a Comment